Snuggle Buddy
by lunaNtess
Summary: Sasuke finds a snuggle buddy, and its not his girlfriend Tess... Read this funny tale  of two unlikely friends becoming snuggle buddies forever more! Rated T for language and over use of the word sexy! Dun nun nu nu Sexy Beast! Sasuke will be OCC.


HI! Luna and Tess here! This uh… a one in the morning project that was supposed to be apart of one of our (many) other stories. Sasuke is done by Tess and Luna is done by Luna! Sorry if it gets confusing at times. (Just so you know, Sasuke starts off and every other line is his) Hope you enjoy!

Hi Luna I love you!

I don't love you like that Sasuke. Sorry.

Then why did you snuggle wiff me! Loser

Beeecaaause I'm having Naruto withdrawals! And you were there!

I am WAAAAY more man then that twit.

Nu huh. You Dunn even know. So :P (oh and … HI)

What eves Luna you now you want me EVERY one wants me even Naruto.

I don't want you Sasuke. Maybe as a friend, maybe as a like brother but not the way that you're thinking sooo : P

What eves I'm off to find Tess.

LOSER! Don't walk away when I'm TALKING TO YOU!

Oh no you didn't! I will walk away from you…. (Walk, walk, walk) ….

(Pouting) but who will I snuggle with?

(Walks back)… FINE!

YAAY! But remember I'm your friend! (Whispers) but don't tell Naruto.

Yah, yah that's what you claim… Tess told me the truth MUAHAHAH and (whispers) I wont tell if you don't.

What truth? There is no truth. She tells you LIES! Lies I say. And I wasn't gonna tell anyways.

She said you think Im sexy! Dun nu nun sexy! And Tess doesn't lie! You're just in denial! You're in shock of my sexiness.

1, I don't think you're sexy. Maaaybe a liiiitle pretty but just this much | | and 2 there is no way I'd go into shock because I saw you.

You think Im pretty! Awwwwwww I know.

I also think Naruto happens to be WAAAY prettier then you! So : P : P :P

…. Luna THINKS I'M PRETTY! Luna THINKS Im PRETTY! PRETTIER THEN EVERYONE! I DO NOT!

WHERE DID YOU HEAR THIS? #$%

Naruto's orange jump suit told me! Hehehe

I'm sorry Sasuke but I think you're insane

Yah probs right but that don't matter cuz I'm a sexy beast!

But I thought Gai was Konaha's Number One Sexy Beast. But of course I don't agree with that. It's just too weird. Plus… Naruto is sexier then you!

HAHAHA I am way sexier then Gai! AND who is this Naruto you keep talking about?

Your best friend?

My cats name is fluffy stupid.

The kid you held hands with all the time when you were little?

Uhhhhhhhhhhhh doesn't ring a bell hmmmmm did he have blond hair? And whiskers?

Yes.

Nope don't know him.

You just described him though!

I was guessing.

How the hell do you guess something like that? I have a pic of him to PROVE you know him!

Im a ninja I can do ALL things! And it was my twin Tasuke.

You don't HAVE a TWIN! I THINK Tess WOULD'VE TOLD ME THAT!

Did I say twin? I meant stunt double! And Tess doesn't like to talk about Tasuke.

You're a ninja Sasuke… you don't need an F-ing stunt double. And why would Tess not want to talk about that?

I can't hurt my moneymaker! And baaadd things happened…. good things that were terrible.

You have no moneymaker. You weirdo. And that answers NOTHING!

Oh yes I do my face is amazing and cannot be damaged by doing dangerous things like being a ninja! Im an underwear model! And hehehehehe Tess thought Tasuke was me…. it wasn't me!

Your face… is weird. It makes me mad sometimes. Not always… but sometimes. And an underwear model? Seriously? I think Tess would beat you if you were an underwear model. And… oooookaaaaay, you are odd.

My face is to hot for you! And she wouldn't hurt me! Not if ... Never mind hehehehe and I am not an odd one its true! You're the odd one snuggle buddy.

I can't believe we are even discussing this! Really? I don't need to HEAR some of things you are TELLING ME! I get enough of this from Kakashi talking about those STUPID BOOKS! IT'S HORRIBLE! And this is partially your fault. This whole snuggling thing.

You know the main guy in his book was based off of me right? Im just so sexy they wrote a book about me! Aaaaadnnnddd I admit it is my fault… I admit to being so sexy.

They wrote a book about you and your sex life? That's nice Sasuke. There's another thing I DIDN'T NEED TO KNOW! And it's not your fault like you're too sexy. Don't get a big head.

Aww but you asked! And you just said it was my fault! Girls they are so confusing!

It's still your fault! It's just not because you're sexy!

Ah so its my hot body that's to be at fault? Okay I can live with that.

NO! It's not because of your nonexistent hot body! GEEZ. Girls are confusing? It's actually the guys who are! OH and I need to know something.

Then the way I flip my hair? Or is it my muscles? Or my eyes? Hmmm or hehehe never mind! And guys are simple they want two things! Hehehe and food! And what? Snuggle buddy?

…. Guys… are sick. Oh! And NOOOO NONE OF THOSE THINGS! ESPECIALLY NOT THE LAST ONE! PERVERT! And my question was does Tess know that I'm your "Snuggle Buddy"?

So it's none of those things? Oh okay that means its ALL of those things at once Im just a sexy beast! And does Naruto know Im yours?

You aren't LISTENING TO ME! AND IT'S PISSING ME OFF! AND NO HE DOESN'T!

Aww Im listening snuggle buddy! You think Im sexy right? That's what I heard! Hahaha and what they don't know won't hurt them... unless they find out then its gunna be oooohhh nooooooo! Easy peasy pumpkin peasey pumpkin pie motherfucker! Not you snuggle buddy I loves you!

If I just didn't answer you… would you just stop thinking I think you're sexy?

YOU JUST SAID, "I THINK YOU'RE SEXY"

Stop twisting my words.

Im not twisting Im quoting.

But I said you think that I think you're sexy. Not just … never mind I won't say it cause then you'll think I said it when I didn't really say it and omg did you just say you loved me?

Say what love? And okay maybe. …

What?

What am I accusing you of saying?

I can't say it.

Luna my snuggly buddy I have a q.

What Sasuke?

CALL ME SNUGGLE BUDDY! And I will ask.

… No

(Pouts… tears are coming to eyes) oh okay (sad face)

…. FINE! What's your q… snuggle buddy?

YAY and do you think Im sexy?

No.

WHY NOT! Are you afraid to say it? Cuz it's just you, me, and this tape recorder.

Because I have a boyfriend Sasuke. And this tape better not be heard by ANYONE! AND I MEAN IT!

But if you didn't have a bf? Would you think Im a super sexy, sexy beast? That's just so super sexy! And FINE but I should have mentioned this is playing live all over Konaha

WHAT? YOU BETTER BE LYING TO ME UCHIHA! OR YOU WILL NEVER EVER BE MY SNUGGLE BUDDY AGAIN!

Im just playing snuggle buddy! Geeeeez but you didn't answer me!

What was I supposed to be answering?

If you didn't have a super stupid annoying… I mean super loving bf… would you think Im the hottest sexiest guy ever?

I heard that by the way Sasuke. And… I dunno.

I will take that as a yes! And for the last time it is SNUGGLE BUDDY!

Your gunna make me cry!

I was hoping you would take is as a no. And fine. I'll try to call you Snuggle Buddy.

Yay! Now I will cry tears of joy! Hehehe sooooo snuggle buddy… what were we talking about?

I have absolutely no idea.

Ohh me neither… NARUTO'S GAY! (Runs away) love you snuggle buddy!

… NARUTO IS NOT GAY! (Runs after him) IF I EVER CATCH YOU, YOU WILL DIE!

(Stops running) but if he's not gay then why does Sai call him snuggle buddy… Im KIDDING! DON'T HURT ME.

… I guess I won't hurt you… right now. Ok?

Good cuz if I was in a cast then I wouldn't be very snuggly… but I would still be a sexy beast cuz that's the way I roll! Dun nu nu nu sexy beast! That's my theme song do you like it?

If I said yes would you stop talking about how sexy you think you are?

Hmmmmm (twisting) did you just say "yes" "how sexy" "you are"?

No, you're twisting my words again Sas- uh Snuggle buddy.

Im not twisting! Im cutting and smashing and blending and sowing and gluing and loving it when you call me sexy.

Snuggle buddy you need to stop cutting. That's very bad. It makes you unsnuggable.

…. I…. am… not….. EMO! And if I were witch Im not I have an emo teddy bear who is very snuggly!

But he's a teddy bear and you're you.

Aww are you saying a teddy bear is more snuggly then your very own snuggle buddy? (Makes sad face) that makes you unsnuggly that you think Im not snuggly.

Ummmm uh no! You're waay more snuggly then a teddy bear.

AWWWW YAY! Your snuggly again!

Thanks! Although I hope you don't mean that as in Im squishy. Cause that would be mean.

I don't think your fat! Geez what kind of snuggle buddy would I be if I thought that!

I guess a mean one. But… you're not mean so never mind.

Awwwwwwwwwww so Im nice and sexy double bonus! Oh and snuggly that's a triple threat look out Naruto! Sexy beast is here! Du nu nu nu sexy beast (does super man pose)

I really hate to tell you this snuggly buddy but I'm not gonna leave Naruto cause you're my snuggle buddy.

I didn't expect you too duhhhhhhhhhhh I just want you to admit Im sexier then Naruto.

Which is never gonna happen.

What if I beat him into a pulp? Or drive him off a cliff? Or put him in a giant microwave and cook him for a minuet?

Then you wouldn't have a snuggle buddy.

… FINE I wont hurt Naruto…

Good.

Good great lalalalalla du nu nun sexy beast! Just imagine me if I was an underwear model doing this pose!

… AHH GET OUT OF my HEAD! I could've lived FOREVER without seeing that!

Did you picture me wearing boxers or briefs?

…. Like I'm gonna tell you.

Hehehe did you imagine me wearing any cloths? .

Eww and besides I don't think I would tell you something like that!

So you did picture me in my birthday suit! Hehehehe du nu nun sexy beast.

What's a birthday suit?

… I don't know how to respond to that? I would ask you if you wanted to see but you might kill me after.

I would? Shoot. Um… then what is it?

Wellllllllllllllll hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm lets see how do I explain it! A birthday suite is what you were born in….

But we were born with nothing.

Exactly! You were picturing me wearing nothing! No clothes no nothin!

… Ew noooo no no I wasn't!

Want to see my birthday suite… just got it dry-cleaned! Hahahahahahaha

No and lol that was a bad joke snuggle buddy.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I know.

Is that recorder still recording this conversation?

Hmm the blinky red light says yes

…. Damn it. You better hope Tess and Naruto never find this.

Aww they wont! But why are you recording our convo anyway?

I'm not. I don't have a tape recorder.

I don't either….

SHIT HIDE THE EVIDENCE!

Okay snuggle buddy! (Picks up recorder runs to raman cupboard) they will never find it there.

OK! Now turn it off.

Ummmm okay… (Clicks random buttons)

* NOT RECORDING*

"Ummm what the hell?" Naruto said.

"I'm gunna kill them both"

"I think I'll just kill Sasuke. Luna is gonna get locked in her closet."

"Im gunna give Sasuke a ass whooping! He is so not a sexy beast right now"

"You think he's a sexy beast usually?"

"Duh he's my boy friend… he was… now he's my dead boyfriend… and besides that toon is catchy du nu nu nu sexy beast!"

"You… ah… umm… yeah I don't know how to respond."

"We should act like nothings wrong then! When we see them we should quote them! They be like what the fuuuuuuuck!"

"SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN! When shall we put this plan into action?"

"Lets go find them now!" walks away toward the two retards… "I can't believe they didn't think we would find it in the Raman cupboard…"

"Yeah! I go there EVERY DAY! You'd think Luna would know especially."

"They are dweebs right now! Dweebs I tell you!"

**Runs into Sasuke and Luna**

"Hey snuggle buddy!" Tess says to Luna.

" (Luna's brain: oh shit.) Hi Tess…"

5 min later… " WAIT A SEC… Luna's MY snuggle buddy! Geez Tess get your own!" Sasuke yells.

(Luna jabs her elbow into Sasuke) "I hate you right now." Luna tells Sasuke.

"No you don't you think Im a -" Sasuke starts but Tess cuts him off.

"A sexy beast? Du nu nu nu sexy beast!"

(Luna's brain: Shit.)

Naruto is now glaring at Sasuke. Naruto attacks Sasuke.

"I told snuggle buddy I wouldn't mangle you! No fair!… AHHH NOT THE MONEY MAKER!" Sasuke screams like a girl

"Ummm… uh… hi Teesss." Luna repeated.

"… Raman closet…. stupid…. grrrrrrrrr Luna WHAT THE HELL!" Tess yells. Tess then proceeds to tackle Luna.

"Sorry! Sorry! I Uh…. I actually don't really know how to explain this." Luna said.

"Don't hurt snuggle buddy! She will be less snuggly if you brake her in half!" Sasuke yells and grabs Luna. Tess and Naruto back them into a corner.

"Good thing they didn't find that tape or we would be in REAL trouble" Sasuke says.

Luna glared at him. "Oh I hate you so much right now."

"Snuggle buddy?" Sasuke pouts.

"She. Is. Not. YOUR. Snuggle buddy!" Naruto and Tess yell.

"I disown you" Tess says to Sasuke and wacks him upside the head.

"Sasuke… they found the tape. How else would they know this?" Luna told him.

"Really? I hid it so well though! And I dunno maybe Tasuke told them! He can be a real dick sometimes!"

"Why the hell would Tasuke know we were snuggle buddies?"

"HOW MANY TIMES MUST WE TELL YOU? YOU'RE NOT SNUGGLE BUDDIES!" The two upset other people in the relationship screamed.

"Tasuke is a ninja Luna a ninja! And stop yelling Im trying to explain to my snuggle buddy that my stunt double is a dick sometimes!" Sasuke wined.

"You told her about Tasuke…" Tess growled and attacked him.

"He wouldn't tell me much. He was being a meany!" Luna tried to calm Tess down.

"I told you that Tess thought Tasuke was me and kissed him! Didn't I?" Sasuke yelled.

(Everyone stops)

"Who the fuck is Tasuke?" Naruto asked

Sasuke looked at him. "Weren't you listening to the tape? If not then go away."

"NO! You didn't tell me that! So that's why Tess was so upset!"

"SASUKE I'm going to KILL YOU!" All three had said this at the same time. It made Naruto's head hurt.

(After much fighting and much sorrys) Tess and Naruto walked away.

"Pst Luna"

"Yeah, what is it Sasuke?"

"We are still snuggle buddies right?"

"Yeah."

"Then lets go snuggle wile they cool off!"

"OK!" And they skipped off together to go find a comfy place to snuggle!

THE END

We really hope you liked it! This was the product of randomness! And Tess says lack of sleep: ) Oh! And we have a puzzle for you! If you can find the one time that Luna calls Sasuke sexy and Sasuke doesn't catch it… you'll get a COOKIE! Or a hug. I dunno it depends.

"**Uh Luna we ran out of cookies…" Tess says**

"**SHIT! Lets go to the store!" Luna panics.**

"**But if we go to the store then we will buy cookies and EAT THEM!" **

"**Ah yes. I get the feeling that you are right about this. Hmm… OH I know! I'll give them to my snuggle buddy since he doesn't like sweets!"**

"**This snuggle buddy was a one time thing… touch Sasuke…. I will snuggle with Naruto!" **

"… **Everyone needs a snuggle buddy : )" **

"**Fine tomorrow when you get Naruto I'm tossing him out the window! Everyone needs a homicide buddy (smiles evilly)" **

"**OH NOZ! Not my Naruto PLUSHY!"**

**(P.S. this whole thing started cause Luna forgot her Naruto plushy at home when she went to Tess's house and she was lonely sooo…. she stole Sasuke) **


End file.
